Updated: Jul 16, 2022
HELLO & WELCOME!
I am a passionate personal development coach and spiritual advisor with a long history of over-coming and thriving with chronic illness.
I am also a visionary who encourages radical authenticity and promotes free-thinking.
Read at your own discretion, trigger warning always in effect.
Twin Flame Love and the Divine Lesson
Healing the polarity
Most humans romanticize the concept of finding “true” love. But what is true love? The definition can be as diverse as the humans sharing the opinions. IS there an absolute truth or blanket statement of what true love is?
Are there stages of love? High, mediocre, effortless, lots of work, karmic, total narcissist? Let’s delayer love from my perspective, as it’s the only one I have “authentic” authority in, because I’ve experienced it! I was shocked as my naive belief of what true love was completely transformed and challenged me to the very core when I met a very distinct and destined individual in my life…
The terminology TWIN FLAME, has yet to make a broad impact in the collective.
(I think it may increase and amplify over the next few years, we’ll see.) We are much more inclined to the concept of soulmates. At this point they may be even used interchangeably, although they’re typically are a few link in’s for the concept of twin flames that are notable, unique, and highly unusual.
I think we all understand and grasp what the term soulmate refers to. Briefly a soulmate to be clear, can be described as somebody whose connected closely and considered a relative of your “soul” family. It's claimed you can have many soulmates over a lifetime including lover’s, family, friends, even pets. Soulmates are a very compatible love, with a similar energetic blueprint, that provides high levels of joy, fun, connection, and fulfillment in one's lifetime. Soulmates don't come without complications, let's be real —all relationship come with hardships and complications. But in years past, finding a soulmate was considered a gift, as the love may be deeper than other types of relationships.
But this article isn't about soulmates, it's about the concept of twin flames. One thing I will say about twin flames is, if this happens to cross your path, you will be rocked and blindsided. It will feel so unusual and mind blowing (not necessarily in a good way), that typically the first thing you will do is start to Google the heck out of it. Googling anything nowadays is a complete crapshoot and you're going to get a vast variety of perspectives from people that have had horrible experiences, positive experiences, and more often than not, people giving their opinion who think they understand the connection but never authentically experienced a twin flame union to begin with —Boo.
It can create mass confusion for many. Use discernment! Trust your resonance. What do you want to align with?
So I will just start by giving my disclaimer.
I have lived and experienced this dynamic for many years. We are in contact and have together acknowledged the connection as being such. (This statement still only gives me authority from my personal experience, use your own judgement, very important when attempting to grapple your way around this connection!)
It took me many years to feel safe and comfortable to state that out loud. The judgment, perceptions, perceived hierarchy, wonderment of my sanity, and general confusion, are through the roof with the bizarre aspects of a connection like this. Having experienced this firsthand with my twin in the physical and being in daily communication has been a double edge sword. The appreciation of the connection and communion, but the constant triggering while you’re “doing your work”
Work? Endless amounts? Well, this doesn’t sound like your soulmate or some higher version of love? What gives? You have to understand this is nothing like we have been taught or trained or even heard of. Although you feel every aspect viscerally, even YOU wonder at times, wtf is happening here! Who is this person who waltzed into my life and flipped everything about all of my beliefs upside down?
When I first got the courage to have a workshop on this concept, I realized I had done a great dis-service. There was a bit of confusion that led people to question “where can I find my twin” trumping my main message I was trying to convey —healing the self and polar aspects of themselves to find inner integration, one of the main messages of the twins in my experience.
Very often we immediately romanticize the twin flame connection. Because we’re all addicted to love let's face it. We all want the highest love that we can experience in this lifetime. I did! And although I was feeling aspects of that initially…I was simultaneously feeling like I could not handle everything that was coming up for me. I ran, I ran some more, and yet again. But each time I did, I felt like dying. Overtime, I realized the more I run from this person, the more I run from my inner awakening that was unfolding through the divine mirror. My twin.
The amount of polarization in these connections is beyond anything that one can even fathom. NO twin flame connection is easy, in fact it’s often a battle. No twin flame connection looks normal in any way shape or form. It is something that the pair has never experienced in this lifetime with any other person. It has no rules, it follows no guidelines, and there's no path. It's you and the deepest pits of your soul and the magnetism that keeps you coming back for more even when you can barely take another step. Epic battle, so why not run far away from this seemingly abuse or torture? Well, tried, we’ll get into that later.
I decided to write this to once again open up the conversation of this dynamic and the healing that takes place that is offered to humanity at large at this point. That’s correct. You may not have met your twin flame, but you can embody the template to integrate yourself to attract your highest connection.
Now, let’s bring up the key concepts I believe that's not talked about as often as it could be relating to this kind of connection and how it relates to everyone not just the pair in question.
If you have researched this concept, you will often see that twin flame connections typically have stages, which I'm not totally denying. But I'd like to offer more clarity from what I've learned over the years in this connection.
IT’S HIGHLY POLARIZED.
I've learned over the years that this connection with your flame reflects very often into every aspect of your life including your family, your friends, and even the collective. Remember, it’s about YOUR highest growth. We can agree the world today is living in a dualistic state. It is the three-dimensional state of existence at this time. Democrat or Republican, right/wrong, black/white, good/bad, even now awake/asleep, empowered/controlled, everything is a play on opposites and there's very little meeting in the middle and a holding space for both sides.
In my opinion one of the biggest lessons of the twin flame connection is to learn and understand polarity and the integration of it. And then to take that into the world and teach others how to be more integrated.
It’s a common “sign” of a twin flame Union to acknowledge that they are opposites. That there is a large age gap, a location gap, opposing religious beliefs, often a financial gap, political belief system gap, a gap and aspects of career and work in the world, belief systems, do you get it? Just think - your closest partner being completely opposite in every potential way and not getting triggered or trying to push your agenda onto them. Of course things can be overlooked and we can work through things, but very often the degree of separation in these ideals between the two can trigger a lot of emotion and intensity. Did I say a lot? Unbearable very often. Because of the magnetic, mystical, spiritual attraction, it keeps you coming back to try to understand and find a state of nonjudgment of the others beliefs without trying to constantly change them. Heck I know women who are constantly trying to train and change their men over little things. Honestly everything is polarized in this connection, and everything can be very triggering and emotional. At times you deeply believe the behaviors should be your way and vice versa. Soon triggering a runner dynamic, after one runs away and the other chases, and after countless arguments, cutting each other off, blocking each other, acting like teenage children, you eventually come back with your tail between your legs and realize
LOVE IS GREATER. Each and every time, belief system after belief system, time after time, you keep coming back... because the LOVE means more then the separation.
Your ego will be triggered in ways you could have never imagined. Usually the pair already are ingrained or set in their belief systems and obviously they think their way is the right way. It's like you're challenging every aspect of the person, the psychology, the childhood patterns, and even what they think in their heart. You will try to blame your twin over and over again, until you gain the consciousness that it's YOU actually fighting against your self. The parts that are so mystically coming up for healing and integration. That's right your twin is your ultimate/other half of what needs to be integrated within you. Very often you don't like what the mirror has to say and you blame it on him/her. It's much easier to say that it's their fault; they're the narcissist and you're the victim and vice versa, a round robin of victims. The role flips, sifts, until you don't know who is who. A little confusing, yes. It loops on the "hampster wheel" of who's right until there is a breakdown. Which turns into surrender. Then... healing takes place. And the next issue isn't close behind the previous healing. Personal/couples resistance and stubornness often plays a big role in linear timing in clearing issues. But how much can one handle?
Very often if you do get the courage to tell people about this connection openly, they will agree with the view of it being toxic and try to actively move you away from the connection. *NOTE- this is different in ways from an abusive relationship. It is up to the individuals at hand to communicate and understand what exactly is happening. * Very often it can be suggested that if you are involved in an authentic twin flame union to keep it hush from the family or friends who have never experienced such a connection because it will be vastly misunderstood. But that can be a lonely game when you have to keep this profound life experience inside of you as it breaks you down and transmutes every fiber of who you thought you were. Metamorphosis is done alone...but as humans we often prefer to talk, gain others insights, and even complain. That won't help you here, sorry to say. That is unless you come across someone who has integrated their own experience and can offer love and space without bleed through of their own personal history..
The connection very much does start out like a teenager in love, puppy love that is-naïve love, pure and deep. But it never fails that shortly after, weeks or months, the soul starts to unravel and shit hits the fan. It's similar to the deepest spiritual hero's journey, but you have somebody right next to you the whole time willing to point out every time you want to bypass any of your shit. And we all know that sometimes -that gets old. And I'll tell you this... your twins soul wants the best for you-the highest outcome and growth that you can achieve in this lifetime which means there is NO holding back on them calling you out. It’s just a natural phenomenon, they're not even trying. In fact by just naturally being themselves, they can trigger you when the connection is not integrated. But the divine orchestration of the love between the two unconditionally on the higher realms keeps them doing the work. Yes, its common very often one is triggered to the point of abandoning the connection altogether. It does happen and it's the most soul crushing experience one could ever feel. Literally your soul is crushed. Trying to explain the extent of what I'm saying is very hard for me to do in human language. I'm 42, I've experienced a lot of personal and physical hardship in my life including severe illness, organ transplants, and abuse. I've also experienced many relationships including one or two soulmates in my life. I've held down a marriage of many years and experienced the hardships of long-term relationship. But NOTHING in my life has prepared me for this connection and what it would do to me. I often hear people say, how do I find my twin flame? And I have to look at them intently and ask them, “DO YOU have any idea what your life would be in for? This is not child's play you've never experienced anything like this in your life. And very often the soul takes over and your life is from that day forward lead by God.
And it’s known inside of you, that somehow, somewhere, maybe before you were born, you sacrificed a normal existence to be of service to the world in a way that needs to crush any limiting beliefs out of you so you can offer the empathy and relate to the collective in such a dedicated way.
So what I want to leave you with today is are you ready to meet somebody who is every thing that you don't want and embodies qualities that trigger everything about your belief systems? Are you ready to meet somebody that does not give you what you want. Are you ready to be reborn over and over again? Can you realize that being reborn means there needs to be a death, and that's exactly what it feels like every time your twin and you argue or one runs away, when it feels like the 2 ends will never meet?
And I just want to leave you with the very real fact that integrating the polarity and learning to love somebody without condition, no matter their choices, no matter if they love you back the way you want, having no expected outcome whatsoever no matter how much the souls know they’re meant to be together, well then my friend you just maybe ready for this connection.
I want to thank my twin for providing me a glimpse into aspects of my being I never knew existed. For being the “Stayer” twin when I constantly tried to run from love because the way you loved me wasn't the way “I” wanted it. I want to thank you for denying me, rejecting me, and not choosing me at times, because it made me realize that I wasn't “choosing” me either in many aspects of my life. I have evolved and have grown more in the last four years then I have in my entire life. I want to thank you for still being in connection with me and loving me without condition. I acknowledge that us talking on a regular basis is exceptionally rare for people in this connection due to the intensity before full integration. I realize all the times you perceivably rejected me you actually weren't rejecting me at all. That you wanted me to be the best version of myself that I could be. You know I needed work, as you did, and you offered me that space with love, unconditional love without sacrificing your integrity, God’s love. We always knew that when we had time together, God was in the room, consecrating the bond and to experience a slice of heaven is the most divine gift in this three dimensional reality, we both know. I will always love you as I know you will me. I never thought in my wildest dreams that anything like this would happen to me anytime in my life. Every aspect, out of my control, but so incredibly aligned and divine. I acknowledge that I'm a completely different person by finally accepting and deciding not to run from you, from me, and ultimately from God. I love you and accept all of you, now and forever B.