One thing I have learned about relationships: they should not be idealized or romanticized. Relationships are many things at once and often changing. We strive for consistancy but just like life, they are always iterative and evolving.
And we must learn to;
Navigate, compromise, communicate, and negotiate.
I have discovered that relationship is more about the energy between the pair (which is based upon the core frequency of each being) than words , actions, and intentions. You see, those things can be manipulated when one is feeling disempowered or the actions are stemming from the unconscious based in our trauma. Conversely, when we are conditioned via relationship templates we know just what to do to pacify or appease our partners. But what I have discovered is that pure energy emanates though the beings, no matter what our personality may be expressing, projecting or attempting. The depth of soul is there or it is not, and for some we can feel that immediately and others cannot. What relationship is that I know is a process.
I have discovered the term "reflexive relationship", I resonate- and it's based in pragmatism and effort, but yet has aspects of the mystical and sacred. A reflexive relationship. A balance of matter and spirit personified in the communion of two beings.
A reflexive relationship is one in which both individuals are continually reflecting on and influencing each other's thoughts, emotions, and actions. This type of relationship is characterized by mutual respect, empathy, and the ability to hold space for each other's growth and evolution.
According to spiritual teacher and author Gary Zukav, a reflexive relationship is the foundation of a sacred partnership. In his book "The Seat of the Soul," Zukav writes, "A sacred partnership is a spiritual partnership, one that is based on the awareness that the other person is not only your partner but also your teacher, here to help you awaken.”
And I'd choose you; in one hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.
In a sacred partnership, both individuals are committed to personal growth and the evolution of consciousness. Through their reflexive relationship, they support each other in becoming the best version of themselves, and in turn, co-create a fulfilling and meaningful life together.
Zukav further explains, "In a sacred partnership, each person is responsible for his or her own evolution and for creating the partnership. Each person is the source of their own happiness and self work and together they can amplify that in which each can cultivate within. This is a relationship in which the support is based not off of not need, control, and expectation, and is nourished less materialistically than it is spiritually with simplicity.
Here are several ways to cultivate a reflexive relationship:
1. Practice active listening: Make a conscious effort to truly hear and understand the other person's perspective. Avoid interrupting, and instead, reflect back what you've heard to show that you're engaged and present.
2. Show empathy: Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and understand their emotions, needs, and motivations. Empathy fosters a deeper connection and mutual understanding in a relationship.
3. Communicate openly and honestly: Be transparent about your thoughts, feelings, and intentions. Encourage your partner to do the same, and create a safe and non-judgmental space for open and honest communication.
4. Seek mutual growth: A reflexive relationship should support the personal growth of both individuals. Encourage each other to pursue their passions and interests, and celebrate each other's successes and accomplishments.
5. Cultivate mutual respect: Treat your partner with respect and dignity, even in challenging situations. This builds trust and fosters a positive and supportive dynamic in the relationship.
Engage in regular self-reflection: Take time to reflect on your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and how they may impact the relationship. This will help you to identify areas for personal growth and to bring a more conscious and intentional approach to your interactions with your partner.
6. Practice forgiveness: Forgiveness is key in any relationship, but especially in a reflexive relationship where both individuals are constantly influencing each other. Let go of grudges and resentments, and work together to resolve conflicts in a way that benefits both partners.
By practicing and ideally implementing these practices, you can cultivate a reflexive relationship that supports personal growth, fosters mutual understanding and respect, and co-creates a fulfilling and meaningful life together.
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