When one begins the process of awakening to their "authentic" self, it is nothing short of materializing as a mental, spiritual, and emotional cataclysm. With some glitter sprinkled in to keep you functioning and moving without belligerently throwing in the towel.. You can google, as I did initially, to try to seek answers to what the hell I was perceiving and tangibly feeling as everything began to crumble and collapse around me. I want to give 5 signs of a spiritual awakening as per my personal experience.
1. An inner knowing that -SOMETHING WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN. 6 months to 1 year pre-awakening, I had an inner knowing or a sense that a "happening" was going to occur, beyond normal intuition which I was very familiar with. It was powerful and enhanced. I felt it and openly shared, to the chagrin and disbelief of a few close friends. When asked, "what is happening Stephanie," I had no answer. But it was unambiguous and radiant when it washed over me. Little did I know that the very annihilation of my life as I knew it was forming all around my etheric body soon to be my very physical reality. Looking back the excitement and positivity I felt I believe was one of two things, or maybe a bit of both. 1. A premonition of the outcome, which took several years btw...or 2. Maybe a way to settle my nervous system and spirit to keep me in a state of peace before the stress would kick in.
2. A lot of ODD PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS - I can speak for myself and I am not shy to say I felt like a complete freak. Certain "ascension" symptoms such as excessive ringing in the ears, smells and visions are more of a natural occurrence for me. So these physical symptoms and energetic shifts were beyond strange to say the least. In the beginning I felt a need to lay down, a lot. Not just nap. I mean I couldn't stand to be vertical. I had a craving to be horizontal. In bed, on the floor, couch, wherever. I also felt ill. But not a "typical" flu. More like an inner knowing I was sick, on the inside. My insides needing to be purged out. The toxic within. *At this time in my life I was healthy and spiritually sound from my perspective, this was beyond anything I knew.
I felt energetic rushes, vibrations, and times where I felt "too big" for my physical body. A need to crawl out of my skin like a physical body metamorphosis. Waves of heat flashes and sweating were normal for an expended period of time. Erratic eating patterns that were abnormal for me. Long periods with no appetite shifting into eating the equivalent to 4 meals in a single sitting. Bouts of insomnia (typically between 2-4am) with sleeping or feeling leveled for days at a time.
Times of extreme energy and sense of being "high", likened to having way too many stimulants.
I had so many physical symptoms it is difficult to list them all, but ultimately I was purging parts of my body and making way for a new one.
3. The thought that - I WAS LOOSING IT, even though I knew I wasn't, but was I? Speak to 99% of my circle of family and friends at that time and I am certain they were secretly texting about when and where to commit me. Well maybe that's dramatic, but not that off either. My personality was completing changing and like overnight. I was making rash decisions, and rapidly. I was speaking and using my voice in ways I had never had the courage to do. I had no issue cutting someone out of my life if they pressed me even in the slightest. I was taking no shit and taking names, I also was verbalizing my deep understanding of what was happening to me no matter how bizarre. Take a hit of LSD and that very well could have been one of my serious conversations with my mother. The angels in my home massaging my feet or singing. The flashes of light and color appearing out of nowhere. The mish-mosh of dream state merged coalescing with reality. I couldn't even hid my truth at that time so hence why we proceed to #4
4. ISOLATION - Everything begins to shift. What felt fulfilling previously no longer is comforting. The craving for authenticity and truth is so fierce you cannot tolerate anything less. Due to the enhanced intuitive state and clairvoyance, you can see right thru people's bullshit. It feels so dense you feel depleted in that very essence immediately. You are seeking your highest truth and purpose and can feel when others are settling out of comfort or fear in a way that makes your soul weep. You can energetically try to help but realize most either aren't interested, are paralyzed by their own fear, or merely remind you that you're "different" now. My own Mother said, "I liked you better before". So after a while it becomes more appealing to be alone. Once alone you can at least process, do what you need, and without interference of others energy or displeasure which you can feel. This isolation period can worry your friends or family even on another level, they know you now mean business as well, it's a bizarre business waking up. . I was simply honest and this helped them to understand me. I stated sometimes gracefully with tact, and other times as child having a melt down after missing the ice cream truck, I said, "look, I am going through a lot right now, I am changing and need to you give me space and be supportive. If you cannot do that, there's the door". I ended up eliminating most everyone (because often I was being talked out of my decisions) from my life except for very brief encounters, for about a 6 month period.. In that time, I had great healing and epiphanies, some spontaneous others well thought out, that occurred and I know it couldn't have happened without that in determinant time alone. It's normal.
5. A sense that I WAS HERE FOR A PURPOSE AND THE TIME WAS NOW TO FIGURE IT OUT - Funny about this statement because I was under the impression that I was living my life's purpose. I had a deep desire to assist those who were struggling by teaching yoga, meditation, and spiritual wellness. In the beginning phases of my awakening, I needed to break down first. Purge. I began to become disillusioned with teaching yoga. It didn't feel fulfilling teaching the alignment of a warrior 1 any longer. I was witnessing many whom I was teaching were also not aligned with their truth even though they had no issue touting their spiritual practice while drinking green juice. I no longer wanted to run my yoga studio's. But there was also a deep sense of being lost because I was steadfast with my purpose beforehand. Where was I going? Who was I becoming? Would I survive this momentous transformation? I didn't know. I didn't know a thing. So I began my spiritual awakening by determining the single thing that was clear, what I didn't want first. Step by step I cleared and purged my own inner darkness (See MY DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL BELOW). And in the end from where I stand today, my mission did change. I am a full-time spiritual teacher who specializes in illness and metaphysical root causes. I also help guide others to navigate their own awakening process. Hang in there. You will be better that you can imagine. You've been gifted a great transformation in this lifetime. A death and rebirth in this wakened state.