Communication Break-down

Updated: Dec 15, 2018


I am a passionate personal development coach and spiritual advisor with a long history of over-coming and thriving with chronic illness.

I am also a visionary who encourages radical authenticity and promotes free-thinking.

Read at your own discretion, trigger warning always in effect.

And now for how insanely judgmental as a society we can be…just joking, but no really…Understandably we can also be very loving and supportive, I obviously know this. But in today’s world and we can hold extreme views that often leave us with our foot in our own mouth or worse yet, our foot in another's mouth. It appears that we can make assumptions and choices with our words based off of how we're feeling in the moment. Make no mistake, words are powerful. They cast "spells" as in "spelling".

I'd like to give a few tips regarding ways I am continuously refining my communication skills as I take the time to understand what's behind my words in each moment.

We all like to think we don’t judge others, but in reality we are a society of incredulous judgement. I want to encourage others to ask themselves, Is it ok to make an opinion of someone based off of minimal information? Sometimes we have complete lack of facts and knowledge. Or maybe you’ve gathered, over time, certain evidence regarding a circumstance or individual that you feel gives you permission to pass judgement on a friend, boss, or lover? Sure, time maybe a benefactor in attaining accurate knowledge. But so often, we haven’t even considered our judgements on a deeper logical level. Where are our words stemming from? Are we conscoiusly dialoguing or unconsciously speaking? We can often have an emotional reaction and the mouth goes off. And if this action has been felt multiple times, all of a sudden we feel we are an authority on the issue.

Below are 4 tips to consider before you judge.

  1. 1.Poor self-care- Ok, this is a weird first suggestion. Are you tired? Overworked? Hangry? You’re more likely to judge or overreact in any circumstance if your basic needs aren’t met. You cannot fully show up at any capacity for another if you cannot take care of your own basic needs. When your needs are not met, very often that will translate externally and protect outwardly onto another. Also, it takes energy, brain energy to think critically and clear. It is much easier to feel an emotion and judge or react, as a small child would in a temper-tantrum. When you take time to make sure your cup is full, energetically, physically, and emotionally, you will have better discernment and greater awareness before you over-react.

2.Trigger Syndrome- You know that feeling. When someone says something, you feel it in your gut, maybe heart, and either you shut down or speak out. This concept of recognizing your emotions when you feel that sensation is the first step in developing emotional intelligence. When someone upsets you, it’s their fault, right? Actually, if you’re a grown up and willing to be responsible for your own psychology and well-being, it’s your reaction because something already exists in you to cause that reaction. If possible, try to pause. Either exist stage right, feel and process, or mayb