Dark Night of the Soul.


I am a passionate personal development coach and spiritual advisor with a long history of over-coming and thriving with chronic illness.

I am also a visionary who encourages radical authenticity and promotes free-thinking.

Read at your own discretion, trigger warning always in effect.

Below is a very poignant and personal account of my dark night episode. My awakening began in 2012 and was accelerated in 2015 following the reunion with my twin soul aspect.

I am here to remind all beings... YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

*parental advisory

This was a requested topic, not by a single soul, but several. I hesitated initially as I knew I would re-live that reality that was so agonizing, I thought I would die. Now let me say this off the jump, this, as distressing, daunting, and soul crushing as it is, is your moment. Yeah, easy for me to say after I endured it. I know, I really do. Its dark, like the blackest you've every experienced. I will try my best to recount my personal story. It isn't everyone’s, as we all feel and traverse this life differently. To be authentic to the beautiful tragedy, I will sit in this energy and re-live this without the help of quotes, books, or other teachers opinions or knowledge -Just a girl and the depths of her darkness.

Laying in a twin bed in a spare room of my Mother’s condo, I sat, exhausted and blank over what I had just done. You see, about 6 months prior, I had a profound moment that changed the trajectory of my life in the glance of an eye. Let me be seriously clear. In the nano-second, in a glance of an eye, something happened, like a divine spark or collision from the cosmos. Unexpected, a real WTF moment, but something so sickly sweet. It was love, a different form of love.This I will go into further detail about another time, the introduction or reacquaintance of my twin soul aspect.

I will say, leading up the ignition point, there were clear leads of divine synchronicity’s and hints that God/Source was close by and bringing some sort of gift akin to the wisemen. It felt simply glorious, wondrous, my heart just busting open. An expression that felt so innocent and pure. An inner knowing of epic sorts. God has a wicked sense of humor because the prior epiphanies and signs seemed happy go joy lucky. If I only had been pre-warned. If I was, I wouldn’t have gone through with following my intuition and heart’s pull initially. But I see now, God see’s what we’re veiled to in moments of our forgetfulness.


Do you know how fucked up it is to feel God within your heart,-make intense and crazy choices to follow it -piss off most of your family and choose to isolate from your few friends -only to be dropped on your ass? Moved out of my home, renounced all my previous self-desires, isolated myself from the world. Oh yeah, then I left my marriage, lost my business, and went into kidney failure for the second time. Wait, I left out those experiences that felt so far out and “woo woo” that I thought I was loosing my shit and gonna be locked up wearing nothing but a straight jacket. When I was seeing entities, angels, and demons, aliens, and fairies. Loosing my shit so I thought. Not a great combo. A tangible fear when one experiences awakenings and the dark night is that they have gone crazy into some bizarre psychosis. Everything was culminating towards something for me and I had no idea what it was.

Every one of these events occurred within the matter of months. The whole of my existence collapsing in one fell swoop. Questioning whether I could pay my bills, whether I’d speak to anyone ever again, wondering if I’d be homeless, or better yet dead from organ failure. A close family member offered up, “I liked you better before”. It felt like shit.

Another phrase I became accustomed too was, “What the hell happened to you?”