Why I broke up with the NEW AGE community

I can recall the day I truly connected with Yoga. First off, yoga found me, I wasn't seeking or even interested. It was a requirement for a dance company I was active in at the time. This was in 1999. At first, I was naive and thought it would be easy as I was self-assured that I was in damn good shape or so I thought. As time proceeded, I had many rude awakenings in my yoga regarding how the physical practice differed from traditional exercise. I had a love/hate relationship as I recognized I wasn't in the shape I thought I was. But low and behold after several months, I was hooked, as many of us feel. That bliss. Those like-minded friends. The state of inner peace that was completely foreign to me. Shangri-La. I went crazy for all things yoga from that point on. Seeking more teachers, knowledge, and material that could fill my soul so I would be ensured that bliss would never again be missing from my soul. Fast forward 20 years, I can honestly say my "Yoga" doesn't have a label, doesn't require asana (stretching), no meditation, no seeking or Sutras, Gita's, Veda's or Upanishads.

So how did I go from there to here. Yoga, meditation, energy-healing, reiki, crystal therapy, Shamans, excessive spiritual workshops, teachers, healers, prophets, retreats, energy clearing, and so on and so on and so on. I did it all. I mean I did it ALL. Shit got weird at points as I dove down the rabbit hole of the "New Age" community. It was all so intriguing, so fulfilling, bizarre at time, so "me" or so I thought. I was connecting with like-minded people who finally understood my weirdness and unconventional ways. I came to inner-stand that I was a highly sensitive, indigo, empath. This answered so many of life's mysteries around why I never felt as though I fit in. My childhood was fractured, as many of our's are, and I just always felt I was from another planet. I haven't ruled that out, but what I have learned as I matured or grew up in my spiritual practice was that, I choose to be here, on Planet Earth. It was not a mistake and maybe I was "different" but I had a choice. To continue to perpetuate with like-minds who commiserated about having to "hide" from society due to negative energy or to find a way to understand and clarify my feelings to be part of the world not of it. You see...since I was a young child, all I wanted was to see other's happy, To help them out of sorrow. To see them smile.

One of my youngest memories is laying in my bed in the middle of the night, 3 years old. I felt sick to my stomach as I often did as a child, and I knew I had to throw up. But I also had the awareness that my mother was in de-stress. She had been crying a lot. So in order to not bother her and let her rest, I decided to throw up in my bed and stay put, and pretend that I was asleep when it happened. When Mom came to wake me in the morning, I could act. So that's pretty clear. I'd rather put my mother's feelings before mine and sleep in my own vomit. I was 3. From that point, I lived a life where I put everyone else's priorities over my own because I so desperately wanted to help people.

Another fast forward. A couple of years after I began to find my bliss through the practice of Yoga and other spiritual modalities, I got very ill. I was shocked. I was the "healthiest" I had ever been. Not only my body, but my mind and spirit or so I thought. I did as I would have at that point, reject the Western Medical Community and seek out alternative therapies. I saw a beautiful woman "healer". She said something so shocking to me I freaked out a little. She said, "Stephanie, you're a healer right? You want to help people, right?" From the depths of my soul said, Yes. That's all I want to do here on Earth. She proceeded to so bluntly say to me, "Well you can't help anyone if you're dead".

I thought, Oh My God. I'm gonna die. She can see it. I was 21.


Over the next 15 years I would seek out even MORE spiritual healing and even opening YogaMos, a Yoga and healing sanctuary that I ran with my partner at the time. I was immersed in the New Age Movement and Spirituality. I needed to heal myself, and fast according to my spiritual healer.

*(On a side note, I was raised Chris